The above quote to me is profound. It stresses the importance of focusing on 'the moon' (the underlying meanings, intentions or thoughts) rather than 'the finger' (the words used to point to the meanings, intentions or thoughts).
But 'the finger' is also important. It is important to phrase your words in a way that accurately represents your
intentions and thoughts to other people.
A simple example is in my experience this afternoon. I threw a
question out loud with the underlying intention of simply finding out whether
someone was present at work. However, what came out of my mouth was the question
'where is she'. So what I got back was a (friendly) sarcastic remark of
where the person could be (at home, shopping, sailing, etc). Of course this could be frustrating
for someone in my position, as all I wanted to know was whether she was
in the office. But fair enough, it is difficult for the answerer to
discern my underlying intention with that question.
I have seen this type of simple communication glitch causing conflicts
and frustrations in professional or social settings. Most people are
not aware of the underlying cause of their communication problem–the
incongruity between the words they use and their underlying intentions.
I propose the following approach for effective communication: be intently aware
of what we are phrasing and whether it accurately represents our underlying intentions. Rephrase as required according to the feedback we get. Also doing the
opposite where possible–try to penetrate and see past the words people
use. People use certain words to describe something that we would possibly use different words for. The thing to keep in mind here, is to focus on the underlying meaning of their words. As an analogy, an address can be written as 'Unit 7, 123 Fifth Street' or
'7/123 Fifth St'. Whichever way we prefer, at the end of the day, they still point us to the exact same location! To see past
their words, keep a mindfulness of the context in which the
communication is occurring, or keep clarifying until you
understand their underlying intentions. Since using this approach, I have been successful in maintaining healthy relationships with my friends and
colleagues.
As humans, we've been given a great ability to communicate with each
other. No other species on earth, as we know it, could communicate with
the level of intricacies that we can. We have words as the tool for communication. But
we need to realise that words are merely a tool. They are kind of like signposts to our intentions and
thoughts. Intentions and thoughts are the real essence of our communication.
Until we develop the ability of telepathy, to be mindful of underlying intentions behind words is the best approach we have for an effective and efficient communication.
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